Pregnancy has made me unavailable and distant. I just hope that when Christmas rolls around again, I’ll still have a husband, daughter and friends. I’m impatient and cross and can’t stand being cornered. Husband calls me lioness and tries to keep it light, even when I’m growling. Bless him.
I’m sorry, and please be patient on my behalf.
So, it was Mother’s Day yesterday, though it might as well not have been since we didn’t celebrate at our house. We’re currently riding out a financial tight spot, but you bet I’ll be getting a full refund whenever the opportunity arises. I’m even allowing myself to fantasize about a new lens, so I find it hard to be upset at not celebrating on the actual day.
Today is my second day of blood sugar thingy-ma-bob testing. My blood sugar, so far, is mostly normal. One hour after breakfast seems to be the only troublesome time, while all the other readings are within normal range. So far, so good. I have four more days spread out over a week and a half left of monitoring. I think I’ll throw in some light exercise on the last three days to see what effect it has on the readings.
Funny aside, the diabetes nurse was telling me how tragic it was that there were user manuals in Danish, Swedish and Norwegian for the thingy-ma-bob, but none in English. I told her that one in Danish or Swedish would do fine (I don’t think a lot of these health care professionals realize I AM Danish, but I understand.. It’s not exactly obvious.) - what do you know, when I came home and unpacked the kit I found that she packed me the Norwegian and Finnish manual, but none I can actually understand. Oh, the lulz!
In other pregnancy news, I think my hair now grows as much in six months as other people’s hair grow in one. On the flip side, my nails are out-of-control and growing like crazy. When I was still flexible enough I used to bite my toenails (gag!), after that I picked at them and right now is the first time ever that I have long toenails. Imagine that! Funny how, when I’m not in a position to give my feet extra attention (it would help if I could actually see them properly), that is the time they decide to grow decent nails. What else is new?
We spent about a year not being that careful about birth control and 4 months actively trying to get pregnant. That is a lot of time to have pregnancy, if not on top of your mind, then at least at the very back. With a big trombone and some loud friends, a grill and a keg.
Yesterday we heard the heartbeat. It was fast and strong and furious. Just like Carla, yet not at all like her. I didn’t tear up this time, but I couldn’t help smiling up at the ceiling when the wand in the gel found the galloping beat. Suddenly all those months of trying and the months after that came rushing toward me—oh dear god, we’re having a baby! Seeing the baby on ultrasound at 13 weeks didn’t make it feel quite as real as hearing the heartbeat, imagine that.
Today we’re going to the nurse to check my blood sugar and to get instructions on how to handle it if it’s above normal. This is not wholly unexpected, I was informed at birth that my pregnancy with Carla had been borderline diabetic, but because I was told at a point where there was nothing I could do about it I still get kind of pissed about the whole situation. This time around I knew to ask for a test early on and still they forgot to make a followup appointment after the stress test and had to be reminded. My blood pressure reads high but they are using a cuff that is too small for my fleshy arm so accuracy is iffy. I’d say distrust is a harsh word to use in this circumstance. Lets just say I’m keeping an eye on them and leave it at that.
All in all I am very happy to be pregnant and I can’t wait to meet this little girl/guy (my gut feeling? It’s a boy. But we’ll have to wait until June 1st, when we’re going in for that ultrasound, to make an educated guess.) But all things considered this is more likely than not my last pregnancy and I can’t be upset about that. We were so damn lucky with Carla that anything on top is just a bonus..
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In other news, I was contacted on facebook by my aunt who lives on Greenland! I haven’t had contact with that part of the family since forever. Haven’t seen any of them since I was a bratty 13 year old. It’s all so very exciting! After all these years you’d think I’d have a ton to say to my father, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins and sister, but I don’t. Not much other than “Hi! It’s me. I’m the same, but I’m different. Welcome to this strange time in my life. It’s so good to see you!”